I am not sure one can fully recognize the depth of culture that is transmitted through language until one raises a child in another, especially when it is the second language. I was very concerned about doing it right-that is, raising my child in a monolingual Spanish environment, but quickly realized what a challenge that was going to be for me. I had never considered that perhaps I was a different person, encumbered with my second language in some contexts and a new “me” in other contexts, and using only Spanish with my son was like placing a glass wall between myself and my child, like seeing but not touching. My son will be four years old this summer, and still I wonder and ask my husband frequently, am I “enough” to be raising him in Spanish-what culture am I transmitting?

My own language was influenced by my predominant care givers, my Irish mother and English Grandfather. They both shared a significant oral tradition in our home, repeated proverbs and sayings, retold stories and used a register of English which was so formal it is often a struggle for me to ashew. With my son, no more “ring around the rosey”, “who said plum” or “london bridge” of my childhood, now I needed to be well versed in “rueda, rueda, pan y canela” and “sana sana colita de rana”. I am thankful to have these skills, but they are skills, rather than identity.

My child’s grandparents are very involved in his life, and I know he is getting the joy of learning this culture with them, and in the end, will share those socio-cultural linguistic experiences with me, just not really with me.

A respected colleague of mine once remarked, and I will never forget it, she said ” your child will speak the language of his mother, choose your language wisely”. Each time I doubt myself, my ability to communicate the language and culture of my heart, I recall what she said to me and follow the advice devoutly.

So, since these are daily decisions I make, I may make different decisions some day. I have not ever interacted with my child in English and know that if and when I do, it could be opening Pandora’s box for us both. My fear is that I will let him go (and speak English to me/with me) and he might not come back.

In next posts, I will share with you why I made/make this decision to raise my child in L2, and how I handle mixed language family and social situations.